As you begin exploring adoption, you will discover that the term “adoption” actually encompasses many meanings. You may have heard references to the term open adoption, but you may still be wondering what this term means and what the arrangement would look like between you and the adopting parents. The following are specifics to consider with an open adoption and questions to ask before deciding if this is the right arrangement for you and the adopting parents.
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An open adoption can mean many things and, as the birth mother, you can help define the terms of this arrangement.
Defining Open Adoption
An open adoption is an arrangement where the birth parents and adoptive parents have access to the other’s identifying information, can meet one another, and can arrange ongoing contact over the years. One question that often arises from birth parents and adoptive parents is how much contact they will have with the other party.
The quick answer to that question is the amount of contact varies from one adoption to the next. This is an arrangement and agreement that’s made between birth parents and adoptive parents. So, if you choose open adoption, you can arrange the frequency and type of communication with the adoptive parents and child.
Benefits of Open Adoption
Many benefits are often cited for open adoption. First, birth mothers often feel more at peace knowing that they chose adoption because they can check in on the child from time to time. The ongoing contact with the adoptive family may help you gain closure and may help you confirm that adoption really was the best choice for you and the child.
When the child is older, the open adoption arrangement will allow them to know where they came from and may leave them with fewer questions regarding the past. The open adoption can also ensure the child will have access to important birthparent cultural and medical records.
Questions to Ask
While many benefits can come from an open adoption, it isn’t the right form of adoption for everyone. In some cases, a closed adoption may be better. Before choosing an open adoption as the birth mother, consider the following questions:
Can I handle the emotions of regular contact with the child?
While regular contact with the adoptive parents can help confirm that you made the right choice with adoption, it can also open old wounds. Consider whether you can handle the emotions that will come when you receive updates on the child, or if you may be able to move forward in life more effectively without that regular contact.
What if the adoptive parents and I can’t reach an agreement on the open adoption?
Since you and the adoptive parents will define how much contact you want with an open adoption, consider what may happen if you can’t reach an agreement. While assistance is available to help you reach those terms, not being able to reach a solid agreement is a possibility you’ll need to be prepared to handle.
Will I be able to handle questions the child may have for me in the future?
Choosing an open adoption means the child will know who you are and will have the option to reach out to you in the future. The child may contact you in the future with specific questions regarding why you chose adoption and more. Consider whether you will be emotionally able to handle those inquiries.
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Choosing open adoption can mean you will receive regular updates from the adoptive parents over the years.
There are many details to consider when pursuing an open adoption. While, at first, the process may feel a little overwhelming, just remember that you aren’t alone and resources are available to assist you through every step. At Family Formation, we can help arrange your open adoption. Call us today at (925) 945-1880.