Category Archives: Intended Parents

Gestational vs Traditional Surrogacy

There are two types of surrogacy, gestational and traditional. A surrogate mother is a woman who agrees to carry someone else’s baby. She becomes pregnant using some form of assisted reproductive technology, frequently IVF. The surrogate mother carries the baby to term, gives birth, and the baby is released from the hospital to the intended parents. What follows is a description of gestational vs traditional surrogacy.

What is Gestational Surrogacy?

gestational vs traditional surrogacy image

The most common type of surrogate is a gestational carrier. A gestational surrogate becomes pregnant through IVF and gives birth to a baby that is not biologically related to her. Here’s how it works.

Embryos are created using the intended parents’ egg and sperm or that of a donor.
Embryos are created by a doctor in a lab and then are frozen for later use or transferred into the surrogate’s uterus.
The gestational surrogate becomes pregnant and is released to the care of her OBGYN for the rest of the pregnancy.
The legal process of obtaining a pre-birth order establishing the intended parents parental rights and terminating potential parental rights of the surrogate, if any.
The gestational surrogate gives birth and the baby is discharged to the intended parents.

What is Traditional Surrogacy?

In a traditional surrogacy, the surrogate’s egg is used to create the embryos. This means the traditional surrogate is a biological parent of the baby. Traditional surrogacy is far less common than gestational surrogacy. Here’s how it works:

An embryo is created using the intended father’s sperm or that of a donor.
The traditional surrogate’s eggs are used to create the embryos either through IVF or artificial insemination.
The traditional surrogate becomes pregnant and is released into the care of her OBGYN for the rest of the pregnancy.
The legality of obtaining a pre-birth order establishing parental rights is less certain in traditional surrogacy. This is because the traditional surrogate is a biological parent. A court might not be willing to terminate her parental rights, if any, prior to the baby being born.
The traditional surrogate gives birth, and if there’s a valid pre-birth order, the baby may be discharged to the intended parents.

Gestational vs Traditional Surrogacy

gestational vs traditional surrogacy image

Gestational surrogacy is less risky than traditional surrogacy because the surrogate is not a biological parent. Terminating her parental rights, if any, are routinely obtained pre-birth.
Traditional surrogacy is generally less expensive than gestational surrogacy because artificial insemination is less expensive than IVF. It also requires fewer medications for the surrogate.
Gestational surrogacy likely poses less potential psychological harm to all parties because the surrogate is not a biological parent. It is likely much easier for her to move on from a gestational surrogacy than a traditional.

If you have questions or would like more information, feel free to email us at info@familyformation.com.

Adoption vs Surrogacy

What’s the difference between adoption vs surrogacy?

There are several differences between adoption vs surrogacy. In an adoption, the potential parents are called adoptive parents. In a surrogacy, the potential parents are called intended parents. Here are some main differences between adoption vs surrogacy:

baby through adoption or surrogacy

Adoption involves bringing a child into your life who is not biologically related to you.
In a surrogacy, a woman becomes pregnant through in vitro fertilization (IVF) using the intended parents’ sperm and egg (or the sperm and/or egg of a donor).
Intended parents have a legally binding contract with the surrogate. The surrogate cannot change her mind and keep the baby after it is born.
There are no legally binding “adoption contracts” that say who the parents will be. The birth mother can change her mind and keep the baby after it is born.
Adopting parents become the legal parents of their child several months after the child is placed with them.
Intended parents become legal parents before the child is born.

Adoption versus Surrogacy: Pros and Cons

Adoption involves a lot of uncertainty. Surrogacy is much more certain, and the intended parents have much more control over the process than in an adoption. Here are some of the pros and cons:

A child born via surrogacy is biologically related to the intended parents.
The legal status of the intended parents is certain in surrogacy.
The surrogate might not be able to get pregnant. The intended parents may worry that that IVF will fail.
Adoption makes a stable home possible for a child who needs it.
A woman chooses adoption when she is already pregnant. Adoptive parents do not have to worry whether the birth mother will get pregnant. There is already a baby in utero.
The birth mother can change her mind after the baby is born.
Adoptive parents have no control over the prenatal environment. Adoptive parents may know little about their child’s medical history.

Adoption versus Surrogacy: Cost

Adoption and surrogacy both have various costs and fees. Generally speaking, an adoption is a fraction of the cost of a surrogacy. Here are typical expenses associated with each.

Surrogacy is expensive. The costs include medical expenses for IVF, out of pocket expenses incurred by the surrogate, possibly compensation to the surrogate. Surrogacy also includes medical expenses for pregnancy and delivery, and legal costs. The total for cost for surrogacy is typically at least $100,000.

Adoption is less expensive. It includes at least the cost of a home study. A home study usually costs less than $5,000. Most people need help finding a baby to adopt. The cost to find a baby to adopt also ranges widely from $5,000 to $15,000. A birth mother might also need help with expenses. Most states allow adopting parents to help birth mothers with expenses.

family through adoption versus surrogacy

The laws around adoption and surrogacy are different in every state. For instance, there are laws that determine whether you can compensate your surrogate. There are also laws that determine who can get a court order before the baby is born. The costs will vary from state to state and from doctor to doctor. It’s important to research your options before committing to either process. We are experts in adoption and surrogacy. Call today to schedule a free 15 minute consultation with an attorney.

Surrogacy: Questions and Considerations

When you choose surrogacy, you help complete an intended parents’ family.

You’d like to add to your family, and you’re uncertain whether the surrogacy process is for you. You’re considering becoming a surrogate, but you’re not quite sure what it involves. The surrogacy process raises questions for both the adoptive parents and the surrogate parent. As you consider whether surrogacy is a fit for you and your family, here are some questions that you can consider.

Who Can Be a Surrogate Mother?

Women who become surrogates have generally had at least one healthy pregnancy in the past, and they are usually between the ages of 21 and 35. A surrogate must be in good health and must have a source of income to support herself while she is pregnant.

Surrogacy helps families who may not otherwise be able to have a genetically-related child.

How Do Surrogate and Prospective Parents Find Each Other?

Surrogate and prospective parents can find each other in many different ways. Some surrogate parents are the friend or family member of the intended parent and decide to become a surrogate to help that family achieve its dreams. Other women are interested in helping a family they do not know, and they may spread the word in their community or connect with an agency or law firm that specializes in surrogacy. Prospective surrogate mothers may create a profile so that families can learn more about them.

What Medical Procedures Are Involved?

The medical procedures involved in surrogacy depend in part of the type of surrogacy you choose. Currently, gestational surrogacy is most common. This occurs when a surrogate mother tracks her cycle and receives medication connected to her cycle, then an embryo is transferred. Once the transfer is a success and the mother is pregnant, she will be monitored by a doctor until the delivery.

What Are the Costs of Surrogacy?

The costs of surrogacy vary a lot from situation to situation and can include agency and attorney fees, screening, surrogate fees, medical costs, insurance, and other pregnancy-related expenses. There are many variables during the surrogacy process and costs will depend on the type of surrogacy you choose, the way medical care progresses, and the agency or law firm that you choose.

What Does the Legal Process Look Like?

Surrogate mothers generally work with an agency or law firm that will support them and the prospective family during the pregnancy. This support includes everything from the initial screening to the legal aspects of surrogacy. The program you choose will either have an attorney or refer you to one to complete a surrogacy contract. This contract will set out guidelines for the surrogacy and payment. It is a good idea for both parties to have an attorney so that both can ensure that they understand the terms of the contract. After the child is born, the child will need to be adopted into his or her new family. To complete this process, you must work with an agency or law firm.

Surrogacy is a life-changing decision. It can allow same-sex couples or couples for whom pregnancy is medically challenging to have a genetically-related child. Are you thinking of becoming a surrogate? Family Formation can help answer your questions. We’re a law firm that focuses on surrogacy and adoption. Call us at 925-945-1880 for a free consultation today.

Images Courtesy of Family Formation: Client photos printed with permission.

Post-Partum Depression: A Reality for Birth Mother, Surrogate Mother, and Others

Learn more about post-partum depression

post partum depression image Post-partum depression can be immobilizing. It isn’t just about hormone imbalances. The reality is that birth mothers, surrogate mothers, and women who become mothers through surrogacy and adoption may experience post-partum depression. In this article I will:

Define post-partum depression
Explain the symptoms to look for
Offer suggestions for relief

Beyond Female Hormones: Causes of post-partum depression

Believe it or not, even the happiest, most well-adjusted of birth mothers, surrogates, or any new mother can experience depression. Women may experience it even if they’ve never had it before, and the condition can impact everyone around them, especially their baby.

All women who become mothers, whether they give birth or not, can show signs of these post-partum conditions for up to 12 months after the baby is born. This is true for women who suffer miscarriages or stillbirth. Studies show that men may also experience post-partum depression. Here are the causes of post-partum depression:

Physical changes: hormones play a big role. Some hormones drop and others increase which can make you feel tired, depressed and anxious.
Emotional issues: sleep deprivation plays a big role and can lead to anxiety. Feelings of loss of control, low self-esteem, and changed identity can be overwhelming.

You might feel symptoms of depression simply because you are unsure of how to parent. Maybe you are wondering if you are doing it right. The hype and excitement of being a parent might shift to concerns about whether you will actually be a good parent.

Signs of Post-Partum Depression

Post-partum depression is not the same as “baby blues.” The baby blues tend to last only a few post-partum depression symptoms days or a week or so after the baby is born. The signs of post-partum depression may be subtle. Frequently, a friend or loved one will notice signs first. Common symptoms include:

Depression and severe mood swings
Excessive crying
Insomnia or sleeping too much
Loss of appetite or eating too much
Intense irritability and/or anxiety
Difficulty bonding with the baby
Withdrawal from family and friends
Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby

If you know someone who might be suffering from post-partum depression. Speak up! Let your friend or loved one know what you are observing. Many women don’t realize they might be suffering from a condition and that relief is available.

You might need professional help

Don’t be afraid to talk with your doctor about post-partum depression. It is a common condition and very treatable. You should see a doctor if any of the following apply to your symptoms:

They don’t go away after a week or two
You aren’t able to care for yourself or your baby
You are having thoughts of harming yourself or your baby

Your doctor may recommend counseling, diet changes, or possibly medication or dietary supplements like turmeric. Tell a trusted friend or family member if you are diagnosed with post-partum depression. Ask them to keep an eye on your mood and potential symptoms. Some women don’t notice when they are suffering and don’t want to ask for help. Remember you aren’t alone, and help isn’t far away. Seeking support and medical treatment is the best thing you can do for yourself, your baby, and your family.

How Surrogates Help Same Sex Couples

Becoming a surrogate mother could be one of the most rewarding experiences of a lifetime. When you make the decision to become a surrogate for a same-sex couple, you are helping make a dream come true – a dream that might have been almost inconceivable just a few decades ago.

CLICK HERE TO APPLY NOW

Why Become a Surrogate for a Same-Sex Couple?

If you have found this page, you probably know that a surrogate mother is a woman who agrees to get pregnant through IVF (in vitro fertilization), and carry a baby for a couple. Surrogates are in high demand for loving same-sex couples with much to offer.

Although lesbian couples might find that they need a surrogate because neither can carry a child, the majority of same-sex couples looking for someone to help with their dreams, are gay male couples.

For gay men who want a child, surrogacy offers the chance to have a child with a biological connection to one of the partners. It may also be one of few opportunities for them to have a child at all, since not all agencies or states are LGBT-adoption friendly yet.

Quelling Myths About Gay Parents

Despite the strides that have been made, and all the new information available in support of healthy gay parentage, the old myths heard in younger years might come to mind.

For instance, some still worry that gay parents won’t be able to provide well for a child emotionally. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, children raised in homes with same-sex parents experience lives very similar to those raised by a man and a woman. Studies show that the children are equally well adjusted when they are raised by gay parents.

Studies also show that a desire to parent, and the ability to do it well, are not influenced by sexual orientation. The greatest predictor of a child’s well being is a loving, nurturing home, the relationship with the parents, and their relationship with each other. Today, more children grow up in single-parent or gay parent homes than those raised in a household with two biological parents.

People also worry that children raised by gay parents will become gay themselves. However, children do not form sexual orientation based on a parent’s orientation. If that were the case, there would be very few lesbians or gays today, because most of them were raised by heterosexuals.

Sometimes, there are worries that children need both a male and female role model in the home to fare well in life. Children do need good role models, and it is very healthy to have role models of both genders in life. Role models come in many forms, however, including aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, family friends, teachers and so on. Many children with single parents have grown up happy and well adjusted.

Finally, there may be concerns about how children and their gay parents “fit in.” The truth is, this scenario is well-known today and most people, including school children, are aware of these possibilities and don’t put much thought into it. Although anyone can be teased about anything — from their hairstyle to the way they talk, there is a heightened awareness of teasing and zero-tolerance in most schools now. With solid parenting children are resilient.

By becoming a surrogate for a same-sex couple, you are making dreams of parenthood come true, but also helping put an end to any remaining myths about same-sex parentage.

Talk to us. Many of us have been in similar situations. We understand and want to support you in your decision, whatever it might be. For now, let’s explain the two types of surrogacy.

Types of Surrogacy

There are two types of surrogacy: Traditional and Gestational.

Traditional Surrogates are women who are inseminated with the father’s sperm, which fertilizes the surrogate’s egg. The mother has a biological connection to the child, but agrees by contract to give the baby up at birth.

Gestational surrogates are women who go through In Vitro Fertilization, and are implanted with an existing embryo, formed in a lab by a man’s sperm and another woman’s egg. Gestational surrogates are gestating and birthing a baby not genetically related to them. Today, gestational surrogates are more common than traditional surrogates.

If you would like to help a same-sex couple’s dream come true by carrying their baby, apply to become a surrogate today, or call us at (925) 945-1880.

CLICK HERE TO APPLY NOW

References

Allen, M., & Burrell, N. (1994). Comparing the Impact of Homosexual and Heterosexual Parents on Children: Meta-Analysis of Existing Research.

Murphy, D. A. (2013). The Desire for Parenthood: Gay Men Choosing to Become Parents Through Surrogacy. Journal Of Family Issues, 34(8), 1104-1124. doi:10.1177/0192513X13484272

The Surrogacy Journey

“There is a bit of magic to the Family Formation screening process. Our surrogate is like family to us now.” Mandy E

Surrogacy is truly an amazing journey! The success of that journey, and the joy and satisfaction felt along the way, has everything to do with the people involved. It also has a lot to do with understanding and feeling comfortable with all of the steps along the way. Like most women thinking about being a surrogate, you probably have a lot of questions about what the steps are. Here are nine of the most significant steps you will take on your journey.

The Surrogate Screening Process

The first step in becoming a surrogate is to submit the initial paperwork and schedule a call with our program co-director. She will also review your paperwork, get to know you, and coordinate getting the additional paperwork we will need from you. This includes:

An application and family medical history
Prenatal/labor and delivery records
Recent pap report
Copies of your ID, insurance information, etc.
Photos you’d like to share with potential intended parents

After all your paperwork is in, we will schedule a time for you to come to our office to meet with us. Plan to bring your spouse or partner or any other support person who will be with you through this process. We will then arrange for you to consult with a psychologist who specializes in surrogacy. She or he will talk with you about the emotional aspects of being a surrogate and what to expect. The psychologist can help you come up with ideas for how to talk with family and friends about your journey. Once this step is complete, it’s time to introduce you to intended parents!

Meeting the Intended Parents

We work very hard to make the best match possible between our surrogates and intended parents. We consider what you are looking for in intended parents and what our intended parents are looking for in a surrogate. We also look at personality types, interests, and where each of you lives.

We will share with you some information about their backgrounds. We will tell you their stories and why they have chosen surrogacy to build their family. You’ll also get to see photos. Once we have found a match, we’ll arrange for you all to meet. The actual meeting will be in a casual setting, usually at a restaurant, and at a time that’s convenient for you. Rest assured, you will always have the final say in which intended parents you work with!

Medical Screening

We will send your information and medical records to the intended parents’ doctor so they can be reviewed. The clinic will call you to schedule a time for your medical screening. The date of this appointment will be based on your menstrual cycle and will involve:

A basic physical
High-level ultrasound to check the lining of your uterus
Lab work for you and your spouse or partner
Consultation with the doctor. You will learn more about how IVF works and the risks associated with IVF and pregnancy. This is also the time to discuss your questions or concerns about the medical aspect of the surrogacy journey.

After the test results all come back favorable, the doctor will let us and the intended parents know that you have been medically approved to be a surrogate! This is called “medical clearance.” Once you are medically cleared, we move can begin working on the gestational carrier contract.

The Gestational Carrier Contract

In this step four, you will enter into a contract with the intended parents. We will arrange for you to have your own attorney during this process. It will be someone who doesn’t work in our office and who represents only you! Your attorney will review this contract with you to make sure you clearly understand everything. Your attorney will answer all of your questions and concerns and will request, on your behalf, any changes to the contract if appropriate. Your attorney’s fees are paid for by the intended parents, so there is no cost to you for your legal services.

IVF Cycle to Achieve Pregnancy

In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a very specialized and detailed process that requires you to adhere to a strict calendar of hormone medications, medical appointments, blood work, and ultrasounds. Each fertility center doctor has their own protocol, and it’s critical that you follow the doctor’s instructions exactly as they are given. Many surrogates become pregnant after just one transfer!

Pregnancy Test and Ultrasound

Roughly ten days after the transfer, you will go to a lab for a pregnancy blood test. You can expect a follow up test two days later as well. If those results are positive, you will go back to the fertility center for a heartbeat ultrasound to determine if you have a viable pregnancy. This usually happens about four weeks after the embryo transfer. At that point, the fertility center doctor will release you to your own OBGYN for the rest of your pregnancy, labor and delivery.

Visits to your OBGYN

From this point on, you will be seeing your OBGYN for regular visits. Hopefully it will be an easy, uneventful pregnancy just like your others. Your intended parents will want to attend as many OBGYN visits as possible. They can then ask your doctor questions about their baby and make informed decisions about any prenatal testing your doctor recommends. This is a really good time to build your relationship with your intended parents. Allowing them to experience the pregnancy through you is what makes your surrogacy journey so rewarding!

Delivery and Welcoming the Baby!

The grand finale speaks for itself. This is what the journey has been all about. No matter how the baby decides to enter the world, taking you by surprise when your water breaks or going as planned with an induction or cesarean section, this day will be like no other! You will always remember the look on your intended parents’ faces the first time they hold their long-awaited, precious child. At this moment, you become part of an exclusive club of selfless women–willing to give so much of themselves in order to bless someone else with a family.

We hope this step by step explanation has inspired you to learn more about the surrogacy journey! If you’re ready to get started, you can apply today by clicking this link.

Not ready to take that step yet? You’re welcome to call (800-877-1880) or send us an email: info@familyformation.com.

We’d love to hear from you!

Fertility Center Partners

Family Formation Law Offices has coordinated surrogate pregnancies with nearly every fertility center in Northern California and throughout the state. For more information about our surrogacy program, or if you have any questions, concerns or just want to speak with someone about the program, then please call (925) 945-1880 or (800) 877-1880. If you are ready to move forward contact us today for a free consultation.

If you are just starting to explore Surrogacy, then we can also help you choose the right Fertility Center to work with. This is not an exhaustive or comprehensive list of our preferred partners. If you are working with a center not included here, please let us know. We’d be happy to contact your provider for potential inclusion on our list.

Reproductive Science Center
Zouves Fertility Center
Pacific Fertility Center
Kaiser Permanente: The Center for Reproductive Health
Monterey Bay IVF
UCSF Center for Reproductive Health
Fertility Physicians of Northern California
Stanford Fertility and Reproductive Medicine Center
NOVA IVF

Learn More About The Surrogate Screening Process

If you are thinking about becoming a surrogate, read on to learn more about the surrogacy process. Here is a step by step guide to our application and screening process.

Most surrogates contact us initially by email, a phone call, or by completing our brief online application form. If you meet all our basic requirements, then we will talk with you about completing a more detailed application form.

CLICK HERE TO APPLY ONLINE

Meet With Us

Once you have completed and returned the surrogate application, we will review your application and discuss it with you. If all looks good and you’re still thinking you would like to move forward with being a surrogate, we will schedule a time to meet with both you and your spouse/partner if you have one. This is a great opportunity for us to learn more about you and for you to learn more about us, the surrogate screening process, and the IVF process and medications. We have an wonderful, experienced surrogate on staff who is happy to share her experiences. It’s also our opportunity to learn more about what you’re looking for in the intended parents we match you with, including the type of relationship you’d like to have during the pregnancy and afterward.

Our Surrogate Screening Process

Following the meeting with our team, we will begin the thorough surrogate screening process. We will collect your pre-natal and delivery records, complete a criminal background check for both yourself and your partner, and review your health insurance coverage if applicable. The final stage of the screening is for you to meet with a psychologist who will evaluate your suitability for the role of surrogate.

Putting Together Your Profile and Presenting You to Intended Parents

Once you have successfully passed through all stages of the surrogate screening process, we will put together your surrogate profile, including photographs, a summary of your application information, and a personal bio which gives an insight into your personality, hobbies and interests. We will always consult with you about who we might present you to, and you will be actively involved in choosing which intended parents you will work with.

Attending the Fertility Center and the Contract Phase

Once you have been matched with your intended parents, we will schedule an appointment for you to meet the fertility doctor they are working with for a screening appointment. Both you and your partner will be required to complete some blood work, and you will have a uterine ultrasound. Results of the medical screening usually take one to two weeks. After the fertility center gives medical clearance, one of our attorneys will draft the contract between you, your partner and the intended parents. After you have met with your independent attorney and you feel comfortable with all of the terms of the contract, we collect contract signatures and prepare the legal clearance for the fertility center so you can begin the IVF process.

The IVF Process and Beyond

The IVF process begins with a cycle calendar and medications which are closely managed by the fertility center. Eight to ten weeks following a successful embryo transfer, you will be released to your own OBGYN for monitoring. We will continue to manage the entire process through IVF, the pregnancy and delivery day.

We are looking forward to the possibility of working with you! Please call if you have any questions, concerns or just want to speak with someone about the surrogate screening process: (925) 945 1880 or (800) 877-1880, or CLICK HERE TO APPLY NOW!

We assist embryo donors and recipients

We are currently working with several compassionate couples who want to donate embryos. Most of these couples are seeking no remuneration; however, some may need minimal costs for storage and freezing. Typically, donations can be made at no cost to donors. Recipients are responsible for attorney fees for drafting the embryo donation agreement. Donors can specify the characteristics and qualities of recipients, ranging from family composition to degree of openness post-birth to life style. If you want more information about how we can help donors and recipients, or to learn more about donors and recipients we are currently working with, call for a complimentary consultation. (800) 877-1880.