Do you want to bring a child into your life? If you live in California, you’re in good company. California is our country’s adoption capital, with the most adoptions of any state. If you’d like to adopt, how do you embark on the California adoption process?

Many Roads to Adoption
Just as every child is unique, so is every adoption situation. Some birth parents want to choose the child’s adoptive parents, while others place the child in the care of an agency that will match the child with adoptive parents. Some families wish to adopt internationally, while others adopt older children from the foster care system. There are many ways to adopt a child and many organizations that can be involved.

Pursuing Domestic Adoption
If you’d like to adopt within the USA, licensed private or public agencies help parents adopt, as does the California Department of Social Services (DSS). Every adoption requires a home study which can be completed by DSS or a private agency. A home study a criminal record check, reference letters, and a history that shows that your family can provide a safe and loving home for a child. After the child is placed, DSS or the private agency will supervise the adoption placement. After the supervision is complete, usually about six months, the supervising agency will prepare a final report for the court, and the court will set a hearing date to meet with you and then grant the adoption.

Maintaining a Connection
Sometimes, birth parents want to maintain a relationship with the child and the child’s adoptive family or simply get information about the child. In that case, they may enter into a Post-Adoption Contact Agreement that may be filed with the court and enforceable by that court. This agreement sets out parameters for information-sharing and future contact with the child and the adoptive family. These agreements can be really helpful in setting everyone’s expectations and in creating the building blocks to a positive and trusting relationship with the birth family.

Whatever pathway to adoption that you choose, it’s important to have a guide through the legalities of the adoption process. We’re not only legal professionals – we’ve also experienced the adoption journey. Are you considering adoption in California? Call us at (925) 945-1880 for a free consultation and learn how we can help.

When choosing an adoption firm, make sure you find just the right fit.

Whether you are unexpectedly pregnant and need adoptions services, or you are a family seeking to adopt a child into your home, you will want to find the very best adoption law firm to match your needs.

Legal Expertise

First and foremost, make sure the firm you choose specializes only in adoption and related issues, and that it has many years of experience under its collective belt. Ask for references.

Open Adoption

Make sure the adoption firm not only supports full-service, open adoption, but also embraces and celebrates it. Although this is a law firm, adoption is one of the most emotional circumstances there is and the law firm’s philosophies will be critical.

~ “Our son is absolutely the apple of our eye and we also had the added bonus of adding the birthmother to our family too!,” Mark and Aimee told Family Formation. “Megan navigated…my wife and I and the birthmother through this emotional time and we were so impressed with how our open adoption came together and how she treated both parties with such openness, caring, and respect.”

Best Interests

Look for an adoption law firm that feels like a savvy legal team, but has the aura of a child protective council. Are they looking for the best home for a child, or are they chasing unfortunate pregnant women trying to make a deal? The differences in attitude and perspective are something you will sense when you speak with them.

Parent Education

Good adoption law firms are dedicated to educating and counseling adoptive parents on every step of the process and on parenting in general. There is no law making them do so, but those who care do it anyway.

And baby makes three.

Adoptive Parent Support

Yes, you need them to get the job done, but a good adoption firm should also be an emotional rock.

~ “We found them to be highly skilled professionals and also highly ethical. They supported us at every step of our journey…” said adoptive parents Gina and Jason.

~ “Megan and the entire team were incredibly professional and supportive throughout the entire process, and clearly communicated everything we should expect…They were always available and gracious in answering our questions as first time adoptive parents…They also continue to be available and supportive even 6 months post adoption,” said Matt and Faye.

Birth Parent Support

A good adoption law firm will be very sensitive to and supportive of birth parents through this very difficult time. No matter how right and logical the decision to use adoptive services for their baby, it is a tough process.

Navigating Difficulties

Unexpected snags can and do come up. Adoption law firms should be ready to advise and manage them through well-established crisis intervention methods.

Finding the right legal firm for your adoption service needs can be daunting. Make sure to ask for several references, and then, go with your gut.

At Family Formation, our team includes a birth mother, an adoptive mother, and a former surrogate. We’ve been there and we understand. Contact us today to explore your options.

When my husband and I started the adoption process, we were open to all possibilities, including parenting a child of any ethnic heritage.  We were young and idealistic. Sixteen years later, we are now parents of two wonderful girls, ages 15 and 11.  Both our girls are half Caucasian and half African American.  Looking back, I think of how naïve we were then and how glad I am now that we were.

Education on biracial adoption

When we brought our first daughter home, I immediately set out to be the best mom I could be.  One of the items on my checklist was to properly educate myself on raising a biracial child.  I have to admit, for the next couple of years, I read a lot of literature on this subject and spoke to a good number of adoption professionals.  The end result was a great deal of fear!

I felt scared that my baby girl may somehow be wounded because my husband and I are white.  Then I began to have feelings of anger at these “experts” who seemed to insist that a black family would be a better family for a black or biracial child.  To me, they were saying my husband and I did not measure up as parents – that we could not adequately teach her about African American culture or help her when she experienced racial discrimination.

Getting over my fear

It turned out, for the most part, that this fear and anxiety was a waste of my time (like a lot of parental fears!).  The only good part of my uneasiness was that I felt continually reminded to make sure my daughter was experiencing a culturally diverse environment.   Luckily, this has not been difficult living in the San Francisco Bay Area.  I kept it in mind when I chose her schools, doctors and activities.  Now it is second nature to me.  Sometimes fear can drive you to do better, and for that, I am thankful.

What didn’t come through in my research on biracial adoption were the rewards of being a multiracial adoptive family.  Our diversity has enriched our lives in many ways. It has also helped me teach my girls the value I hold most dear–that all people on this earth are equal and deserve the same amount of love, respect, tolerance and justice.  As for my kids, they are doing great.  I know most of their lives are still ahead of them, but a lot of the groundwork has been set.  Both of my daughters are very proud of their mixed heritage and being part of a diverse family.  (I am Catholic and my husband is Jewish, so they get to experience two religions as well).

We talk about discrimination

As a family, we talk about racial discrimination.  We also talk about other types of discrimination.  Some types of discrimination my husband and I have personally faced and others we haven’t.  My husband experienced anti-Semitism both as a child and an adult.  I have dealt with gender discrimination starting from a young age by my own dad and brothers and then again in the workforce.

Yes, we can talk from experience when it comes to that, but we feel equally prepared (or unprepared) to help them with racial discrimination as well.  I don’t think we do a better job or make them feel better because we were discriminated against, too.  Teaching our children about their African American heritage has been a great experience for all of us, but it is just a part of the many cultures we like to learn and talk about.  We also talk about our country’s changing demographics and how this will affect their life experiences as they grow older.

Acknowledging their heritage

What is interesting to me is that my daughters feel differently about their race at different times.  My older child looks more African American and is perceived as black or biracial by most people.  The public has a much harder time trying to figure out my younger daughter’s heritage.  Because of this, their interactions with people about adoption have been different.  My guiding principle is to respect how they feel about their heritage at any given time.  If my older daughter is enjoying her multi-ethnic heritage and doesn’t see herself as African American, that is okay with me.  It’s what feels right to her.  If, later, she becomes more interested in her African American heritage, I am happy to help her explore it more deeply.   My younger daughter likes to talk about her southern roots, not so much her racial heritage.  Lately, this interest is in the form of learning about southern cooking.  It’s been a very tasty learning process for us all.

There is plenty to worry about when raising your child whether she was adopted or not; whether she is the same race as you or not.  My advice to anyone who thinks transracial adoption challenging is this: Consider how much more your family’s life could be enriched instead of focusing on the possible difficulties your child may encounter.

As you begin exploring adoption, you will discover that the term “adoption” actually encompasses many meanings. You may have heard references to the term open adoption, but you may still be wondering what this term means and what the arrangement would look like between you and the adopting parents. The following are specifics to consider with an open adoption and questions to ask before deciding if this is the right arrangement for you and the adopting parents.

An open adoption can mean many things and, as the birth mother, you can help define the terms of this arrangement.

Defining Open Adoption

An open adoption is an arrangement where the birth parents and adoptive parents have access to the other’s identifying information, can meet one another, and can arrange ongoing contact over the years. One question that often arises from birth parents and adoptive parents is how much contact they will have with the other party.

The quick answer to that question is the amount of contact varies from one adoption to the next. This is an arrangement and agreement that’s made between birth parents and adoptive parents. So, if you choose open adoption, you can arrange the frequency and type of communication with the adoptive parents and child.

Benefits of Open Adoption

Many benefits are often cited for open adoption. First, birth mothers often feel more at peace knowing that they chose adoption because they can check in on the child from time to time. The ongoing contact with the adoptive family may help you gain closure and may help you confirm that adoption really was the best choice for you and the child.

When the child is older, the open adoption arrangement will allow them to know where they came from and may leave them with fewer questions regarding the past. The open adoption can also ensure the child will have access to important birthparent cultural and medical records.

Questions to Ask

While many benefits can come from an open adoption, it isn’t the right form of adoption for everyone. In some cases, a closed adoption may be better. Before choosing an open adoption as the birth mother, consider the following questions:

Can I handle the emotions of regular contact with the child?

While regular contact with the adoptive parents can help confirm that you made the right choice with adoption, it can also open old wounds. Consider whether you can handle the emotions that will come when you receive updates on the child, or if you may be able to move forward in life more effectively without that regular contact.

What if the adoptive parents and I can’t reach an agreement on the open adoption?

Since you and the adoptive parents will define how much contact you want with an open adoption, consider what may happen if you can’t reach an agreement. While assistance is available to help you reach those terms, not being able to reach a solid agreement is a possibility you’ll need to be prepared to handle.

Will I be able to handle questions the child may have for me in the future?

Choosing an open adoption means the child will know who you are and will have the option to reach out to you in the future. The child may contact you in the future with specific questions regarding why you chose adoption and more. Consider whether you will be emotionally able to handle those inquiries.

Choosing open adoption can mean you will receive regular updates from the adoptive parents over the years.

There are many details to consider when pursuing an open adoption. While, at first, the process may feel a little overwhelming, just remember that you aren’t alone and resources are available to assist you through every step. At Family Formation, we can help arrange your open adoption. Call us today at (925) 945-1880.

You need an experienced adoption attorney who can ensure you’re complying with the laws of the birth mother’s state as well as your own. For instance, some states don’t allow birth mother expenses to be paid directly the birth mother; others put strict limits on the amount that can be paid and for what purpose. The danger is that the money you spend may be deemed as inducement for the birth mother to place which can undo your adoption by invalidating her consent.

You don’t want to violate the Indian Child Welfare Act which requires inquiry into whether the birth mother or presumed father is an eligible member of a Native American tribe. Notice to each federally registered tribe may be required. If not done correctly and there is membership, the tribe may invalidate the adoption up until the day it is finalized.

If you’re adopting a child from another state, you must comply with the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children. This complicated, paperwork-heavy process can be daunting if you haven’t done it before. Errors on or submission of incomplete paperwork could significantly delay finalizing your adoption.

An experienced adoption attorney knows how to identify the legal status of the child’s father, how to obtain his consent or waiver, and most important, knows how to get a court order dispensing with his consent. Failure to obtain legally binding court orders with respect to all potential birth fathers’ parental rights could undo your adoption should the birth father contest the adoption.

If you’re thinking about placing a child for adoption or want more information about how we can help you build your family through adoption, contact our office today for a complementary 15 minute consultation.

Adopting a stepchild in California can be a relatively easy process. If there’s one really challenging aspect to stepparent adoption, it’s most likely going to be obtaining consent from the absent parent. You might be nervous about contacting your child’s absent parent. Maybe you haven’t seen that parent in years and are afraid of the response you might get. Maybe you’re certain the absent parent will refuse to consent. All of the fears are common and understandable, and the main reason why you should consider working with an attorney to process your stepparent adoption. When you work with us, you won’t have to deal with the absent parent. We will do this for you. Our offices are experts in working with absent parents, many times obtaining consent from the most ardent refusals. In the alternative, we always explore the real possibility of getting a court order to terminate the absent parent’s rights so your stepparent adoption can go forward. We would be happy to talk with you about your situation and how we might help. Call our offices for a 15-minute complementary consultation. And visit our Stepparent Adoption page for more information and FAQs.

If you are pregnant and considering adoption, you are probably trying to understand how your baby’s father fits into an adoption.  In California this will depend on the father’s legal status.  In California, a father is either a presumed, or legal father or an  alleged father.  This post will answer:

• What is an alleged father?
• Is there a difference between an alleged father and a presumed father?
• What rights does the alleged father have?

What is an alleged father?

An alleged father is a man who is not married to the birth mother and his name does not appear on  the baby’s birth certificate.  He is a possible biological father of a child, and his paternity has not been proven with a paternity test.  He is typically the birth mother’s boyfriend or someone she had a one-time encounter with.  A man who drugs and rapes a woman is also considered an alleged father.  Every state has their own definition of this type of potential father.  Many use the term “putative” father.

What is the difference between an alleged father and a presumed father?

A presumed father is the legal father of the child.  This father is either married to the birth mother or his name is on the baby’s birth certificate.  Sometimes he is not the biological father of the child.  A presumed father has more legal rights than an alleged father.  His consent to the adoption is required.  If  he refuses to consent, but does not oppose the adoption, then his right may be terminated through other court action. 

Terminating all potential fathers’ rights is critical in any adoption.  This is true even if the birth mother doesn’t know who the father is, where he lives, or how to get in touch with  him.  It is really important that the birth mother is honest about all potential birth fathers.  An attorney will  address and terminate each man’s rights, if any.  This makes the adoption solid for all parties involved.

What rights does the alleged father have?

California law requires an attorney to serve the alleged father with notice of the adoption.  The notice tells him that the birth mother states he may be the father of the baby.  It also includes the name of the birth mother and when  the baby was or is due to  be born.  The potential father has 30 days to act on the notice.  He must file a court action to establish his parental rights.

 Here are some things to note about an alleged father’s rights under California law:

• He does not have an automatic right to custody, but
• An alleged father gets notice of the adoption plan.  
• He can sign a “Waiver of the Right to Further Notice of Adoption Planning” form 
• This form does not terminate his rights, but
• It is the basis for terminating his rights.  
• He must initiate a legal action if he wishes to rescind his Waiver.

I don’t want to contact the baby’s father, what do I do?

We will handle everything for you.  You  don’t have to contact the father if you don’t want to. Feel free to contact me with questions. I’m happy to help.

Open adoption can work well for birth mothers and adopting parents for a number of reasons. Most important, the baby benefits by having more people love him or her. The baby will likely feel more connected to the world and not abandoned. In open adoption, the child’s fears and fantasies of who the birth parents are will be replaced with “real” people. Birth parents can have an enforecable agreement which will allow them contact and/or information from the adopting parents as to how the child is progressing through life. If the child has specific medical problems, open adoption allows the adopting parents easier access to the birth parents for more information with which to assess and treat. Open adoption can benefit everyone, adopting parents, birth parent, and child alike. Contact us for more information.