Adoption Questions: Understanding Who Birth Mothers Are

Many different women choose adoption for their baby.

Who is a birth mother? As a prospective adoptive parent, you might be surprised by the diversity of mothers who decide that adoption is the right future for their child. Birth mothers are women who’ve given birth to a child who’s being raised by adoptive parents who love them, and although there can be similarities in birth mothers’ reasons for making an adoption plan, every birth mother’s situation is unique.

Seeking a Stable and Loving Home for a Child
Birth mothers come from all different walks of life, but they’re united in their desire to give their child a wonderful life. A birth mother may be a student who’s pursuing her dream of a career and looking to her future. At the same time, she looks to her child’s future and knows that making an adoption plan is the right thing to do, since she’s not able to make a family work under her current circumstances.

A birth mother may not be able or willing to parent with the child’s father. Without the emotional and financial support of a partner, she feels that the most supportive family for her child is a family that’s ready and eager to parent right now.

While many birth mothers are young women, many are older as well. Older birth mothers may already have a family, and this pregnancy comes as a surprise, perhaps this baby has a different father than her other children. These birth mothers may feel like they’re unable to financially or emotionally support a new baby. Adoption is also a path for women who feel like this new child needs a family who can support the physical, emotional, and financial needs of a newborn.

Birth mothers want to place their child in a stable and loving family.

Looking for a Safe and Stable Family
Women in crisis are also birth mothers. When a woman is experiencing abuse or homelessness, she may not feel like she’s able to give her child the safe and stable home that the child needs. She may decide to create a plan to help another family adopt this child.

Sometimes, women are addicted to drugs or alcohol, and they realize that they are not able to provide a healthy environment for their child. In this case, Child Protective Services may become involved after the baby is born. These birth mothers may choose to create an adoption plan for the child before that child is born, so that they can ensure that the child goes to a family or to an agency of their choosing. They might also know that the child could have medical issues as a result of the prenatal environment, and the birth mother doesn’t feel she can give the child the care and access to services the child will need now or in the future.

Making a Plan
What is an adoption plan? For birth mothers who are considering adoption, an adoption plan helps spell out the steps that will take place when the child is born. An adoption plan helps create a smooth transition between the birth mother and the adoptive family, helping to ensure that the child is placed with an agency or a family that the birth mother has chosen specifically for her child.

Are you pregnant and considering adoption? We can help you create an adoption plan to place your child with a loving family. If you’re a family looking to adopt, we can help you find your future child. If you have adoption questions, we’re here to help. Give us a call at (925) 945-1880 for a free phone consultation.

Sources:
Adoption.com – Birth Mother Stories: http://adoption.com/birth-family/birth-family-birth-mother-stories/

Adoption Questions: Will Child Protective Services Be Involved?

If you’re thinking about adoption, learn who will be involved.When you’re thinking about adoption, questions abound. What will your life be like with the child who is about to enter your family? How can you best support your child and your family through this transition? Depending on the circumstances of your adoption, you’ll need to turn to different support services, and in some cases Child Protective Services may be involved.

What is Child Protective Services?
Child Protective Services or CPS is the nationwide government agency that is responsible for ensuring that children are physically and emotionally safe and well. Depending on the situation of a child’s birth family, CPS may become involved in an adoption to help safeguard the wellbeing of that child. Sometimes families adopt a newborn or an older child who is in the care of CPS, while other families would like to create an adoption plan with a birth mother whose circumstances might lead to CPS involvement.

When Could CPS Become Involved in an Adoption?
Sometimes, the birth mother’s life circumstances have been challenging. She may decide to make an adoption plan because she knows that her difficulties with substances such as drugs and alcohol make her life challenging, and she’s looking for a safe, stable, and loving home for her baby. Since the use of drugs and alcohol during pregnancy can pose health risks for children, child protective services may get involved in adoption when a birth mother tests positive for drugs, when a birth mother reports drug or alcohol use during pregnancy, or when a newborn is tested for or receives a medical diagnosis that is related to drug or alcohol use during pregnancy. Most states mandate that the hospital report positive test results to CPS. California mandates this reporting.

What Happens If Other Children Are In CPS Care?
If other children in the family are in the care of CPS and the situation in the home has not changed, then a new baby may also be placed into the care of the state. For example, if a child is born into a situation where other children in the family have experienced neglect or physical or sexual abuse, Child Protective Services may become involved in the newborn’s case as well.

Making a strong adoption plan can help adoption proceed more smoothly. Making a Strong Adoption Plan
If you would like to make an adoption plan to adopt from a friend, family member, or other birth mother whose situation may lead to the involvement of Child Protective Services, it is important to make a strong adoption plan before the child is born. In California, if a plan is in place for adoption, it’s less likely that a newborn will pass into the care of Child Protective Services. An adoption plan shows that you and the child’s birth family are willing to transition the child into a stable home and support that child’s physical and emotional needs.

If you have adoption questions about children who may be in a situation where child protective services will be involved, we can help. We’ve been there, and we can help you with your questions about the adoption process. Call us at (925) 945-1880 for a free phone consultation.

Sources:
California Child Protective Services: http://www.dss.cahwnet.gov/cdssweb/pg93.htm

Sacramento County Adoptions: http://www.dhhs.saccounty.net/CPS/Pages/Adoptions/SP-Adoptions.aspx

US Department of Health Child Welfare Gateway: https://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/drugexposed.pdf

California Adoption: Things You Need to Know

Looking at adoption? We can help you build your family.

Do you want to bring a child into your life? If you live in California, you’re in good company. California is our country’s adoption capital, with the most adoptions of any state. If you’d like to adopt, how do you embark on the California adoption process?

Many Roads to Adoption
Just as every child is unique, so is every adoption situation. Some birth parents want to choose the child’s adoptive parents, while others place the child in the care of an agency that will match the child with adoptive parents. Some families wish to adopt internationally, while others adopt older children from the foster care system. There are many ways to adopt a child and many organizations that can be involved.

Pursuing Domestic Adoption
If you’d like to adopt within the USA, licensed private or public agencies help parents adopt, as does the California Department of Social Services (DSS). Every adoption requires a home study which can be completed by DSS or a private agency. A home study a criminal record check, reference letters, and a history that shows that your family can provide a safe and loving home for a child. After the child is placed, DSS or the private agency will supervise the adoption placement. After the supervision is complete, usually about six months, the supervising agency will prepare a final report for the court, and the court will set a hearing date to meet with you and then grant the adoption.

Maintaining a Connection
Sometimes, birth parents want to maintain a relationship with the child and the child’s adoptive family or simply get information about the child. In that case, they may enter into a Post-Adoption Contact Agreement that may be filed with the court and enforceable by that court. This agreement sets out parameters for information-sharing and future contact with the child and the adoptive family. These agreements can be really helpful in setting everyone’s expectations and in creating the building blocks to a positive and trusting relationship with the birth family.

You’re ready to adopt – call us to support you on your journey.

Whatever pathway to adoption that you choose, it’s important to have a guide through the legalities of the adoption process. We’re not only legal professionals – we’ve also experienced the adoption journey. Are you considering adoption in California? Call us at (925) 945-1880 for a free consultation and learn how we can help.

Adoption Questions: Tips for Choosing the Right Firm

When choosing an adoption firm, make sure you find just the right fit.

Whether you are unexpectedly pregnant and need adoptions services, or you are a family seeking to adopt a child into your home, you will want to find the very best adoption law firm to match your needs.

Legal Expertise

First and foremost, make sure the firm you choose specializes only in adoption and related issues, and that it has many years of experience under its collective belt. Ask for references.

Open Adoption

Make sure the adoption firm not only supports full-service, open adoption, but also embraces and celebrates it. Although this is a law firm, adoption is one of the most emotional circumstances there is and the law firm’s philosophies will be critical.

~ “Our son is absolutely the apple of our eye and we also had the added bonus of adding the birthmother to our family too!,” Mark and Aimee told Family Formation. “Megan navigated…my wife and I and the birthmother through this emotional time and we were so impressed with how our open adoption came together and how she treated both parties with such openness, caring, and respect.”

Best Interests

Look for an adoption law firm that feels like a savvy legal team, but has the aura of a child protective council. Are they looking for the best home for a child, or are they chasing unfortunate pregnant women trying to make a deal? The differences in attitude and perspective are something you will sense when you speak with them.

Parent Education

Good adoption law firms are dedicated to educating and counseling adoptive parents on every step of the process and on parenting in general. There is no law making them do so, but those who care do it anyway.

And baby makes three.

Adoptive Parent Support

Yes, you need them to get the job done, but a good adoption firm should also be an emotional rock.

~ “We found them to be highly skilled professionals and also highly ethical. They supported us at every step of our journey…” said adoptive parents Gina and Jason.

~ “Megan and the entire team were incredibly professional and supportive throughout the entire process, and clearly communicated everything we should expect…They were always available and gracious in answering our questions as first time adoptive parents…They also continue to be available and supportive even 6 months post adoption,” said Matt and Faye.

Birth Parent Support

A good adoption law firm will be very sensitive to and supportive of birth parents through this very difficult time. No matter how right and logical the decision to use adoptive services for their baby, it is a tough process.

Navigating Difficulties

Unexpected snags can and do come up. Adoption law firms should be ready to advise and manage them through well-established crisis intervention methods.

Finding the right legal firm for your adoption service needs can be daunting. Make sure to ask for several references, and then, go with your gut.

At Family Formation, our team includes a birth mother, an adoptive mother, and a former surrogate. We’ve been there and we understand. Contact us today to explore your options.

Post-Partum Depression: A Reality for Birth Mother, Surrogate Mother, and Others

Learn more about post-partum depression

post partum depression image Post-partum depression can be immobilizing. It isn’t just about hormone imbalances. The reality is that birth mothers, surrogate mothers, and women who become mothers through surrogacy and adoption may experience post-partum depression. In this article I will:

Define post-partum depression
Explain the symptoms to look for
Offer suggestions for relief

Beyond Female Hormones: Causes of post-partum depression

Believe it or not, even the happiest, most well-adjusted of birth mothers, surrogates, or any new mother can experience depression. Women may experience it even if they’ve never had it before, and the condition can impact everyone around them, especially their baby.

All women who become mothers, whether they give birth or not, can show signs of these post-partum conditions for up to 12 months after the baby is born. This is true for women who suffer miscarriages or stillbirth. Studies show that men may also experience post-partum depression. Here are the causes of post-partum depression:

Physical changes: hormones play a big role. Some hormones drop and others increase which can make you feel tired, depressed and anxious.
Emotional issues: sleep deprivation plays a big role and can lead to anxiety. Feelings of loss of control, low self-esteem, and changed identity can be overwhelming.

You might feel symptoms of depression simply because you are unsure of how to parent. Maybe you are wondering if you are doing it right. The hype and excitement of being a parent might shift to concerns about whether you will actually be a good parent.

Signs of Post-Partum Depression

Post-partum depression is not the same as “baby blues.” The baby blues tend to last only a few post-partum depression symptoms days or a week or so after the baby is born. The signs of post-partum depression may be subtle. Frequently, a friend or loved one will notice signs first. Common symptoms include:

Depression and severe mood swings
Excessive crying
Insomnia or sleeping too much
Loss of appetite or eating too much
Intense irritability and/or anxiety
Difficulty bonding with the baby
Withdrawal from family and friends
Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby

If you know someone who might be suffering from post-partum depression. Speak up! Let your friend or loved one know what you are observing. Many women don’t realize they might be suffering from a condition and that relief is available.

You might need professional help

Don’t be afraid to talk with your doctor about post-partum depression. It is a common condition and very treatable. You should see a doctor if any of the following apply to your symptoms:

They don’t go away after a week or two
You aren’t able to care for yourself or your baby
You are having thoughts of harming yourself or your baby

Your doctor may recommend counseling, diet changes, or possibly medication or dietary supplements like turmeric. Tell a trusted friend or family member if you are diagnosed with post-partum depression. Ask them to keep an eye on your mood and potential symptoms. Some women don’t notice when they are suffering and don’t want to ask for help. Remember you aren’t alone, and help isn’t far away. Seeking support and medical treatment is the best thing you can do for yourself, your baby, and your family.

How Surrogates Help Same Sex Couples

Becoming a surrogate mother could be one of the most rewarding experiences of a lifetime. When you make the decision to become a surrogate for a same-sex couple, you are helping make a dream come true – a dream that might have been almost inconceivable just a few decades ago.

CLICK HERE TO APPLY NOW

Why Become a Surrogate for a Same-Sex Couple?

If you have found this page, you probably know that a surrogate mother is a woman who agrees to get pregnant through IVF (in vitro fertilization), and carry a baby for a couple. Surrogates are in high demand for loving same-sex couples with much to offer.

Although lesbian couples might find that they need a surrogate because neither can carry a child, the majority of same-sex couples looking for someone to help with their dreams, are gay male couples.

For gay men who want a child, surrogacy offers the chance to have a child with a biological connection to one of the partners. It may also be one of few opportunities for them to have a child at all, since not all agencies or states are LGBT-adoption friendly yet.

Quelling Myths About Gay Parents

Despite the strides that have been made, and all the new information available in support of healthy gay parentage, the old myths heard in younger years might come to mind.

For instance, some still worry that gay parents won’t be able to provide well for a child emotionally. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, children raised in homes with same-sex parents experience lives very similar to those raised by a man and a woman. Studies show that the children are equally well adjusted when they are raised by gay parents.

Studies also show that a desire to parent, and the ability to do it well, are not influenced by sexual orientation. The greatest predictor of a child’s well being is a loving, nurturing home, the relationship with the parents, and their relationship with each other. Today, more children grow up in single-parent or gay parent homes than those raised in a household with two biological parents.

People also worry that children raised by gay parents will become gay themselves. However, children do not form sexual orientation based on a parent’s orientation. If that were the case, there would be very few lesbians or gays today, because most of them were raised by heterosexuals.

Sometimes, there are worries that children need both a male and female role model in the home to fare well in life. Children do need good role models, and it is very healthy to have role models of both genders in life. Role models come in many forms, however, including aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, family friends, teachers and so on. Many children with single parents have grown up happy and well adjusted.

Finally, there may be concerns about how children and their gay parents “fit in.” The truth is, this scenario is well-known today and most people, including school children, are aware of these possibilities and don’t put much thought into it. Although anyone can be teased about anything — from their hairstyle to the way they talk, there is a heightened awareness of teasing and zero-tolerance in most schools now. With solid parenting children are resilient.

By becoming a surrogate for a same-sex couple, you are making dreams of parenthood come true, but also helping put an end to any remaining myths about same-sex parentage.

Talk to us. Many of us have been in similar situations. We understand and want to support you in your decision, whatever it might be. For now, let’s explain the two types of surrogacy.

Types of Surrogacy

There are two types of surrogacy: Traditional and Gestational.

Traditional Surrogates are women who are inseminated with the father’s sperm, which fertilizes the surrogate’s egg. The mother has a biological connection to the child, but agrees by contract to give the baby up at birth.

Gestational surrogates are women who go through In Vitro Fertilization, and are implanted with an existing embryo, formed in a lab by a man’s sperm and another woman’s egg. Gestational surrogates are gestating and birthing a baby not genetically related to them. Today, gestational surrogates are more common than traditional surrogates.

If you would like to help a same-sex couple’s dream come true by carrying their baby, apply to become a surrogate today, or call us at (925) 945-1880.

CLICK HERE TO APPLY NOW

References

Allen, M., & Burrell, N. (1994). Comparing the Impact of Homosexual and Heterosexual Parents on Children: Meta-Analysis of Existing Research.

Murphy, D. A. (2013). The Desire for Parenthood: Gay Men Choosing to Become Parents Through Surrogacy. Journal Of Family Issues, 34(8), 1104-1124. doi:10.1177/0192513X13484272

Biracial Adoption: One Family’s Story

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When my husband and I started the adoption process, we were open to all possibilities, including parenting a child of any ethnic heritage. We were young and idealistic. Sixteen years later, we are now parents of two wonderful girls, ages 15 and 11. Both our girls are half Caucasian and half African American. Looking back, I think of how naïve we were then and how glad I am now that we were.

Education on biracial adoption

biracial adoption is beautiful

When we brought our first daughter home, I immediately set out to be the best mom I could be. One of the items on my checklist was to properly educate myself on raising a biracial child. I have to admit, for the next couple of years, I read a lot of literature on this subject and spoke to a good number of adoption professionals. The end result was a great deal of fear!

I felt scared that my baby girl may somehow be wounded because my husband and I are white. Then I began to have feelings of anger at these “experts” who seemed to insist that a black family would be a better family for a black or biracial child. To me, they were saying my husband and I did not measure up as parents – that we could not adequately teach her about African American culture or help her when she experienced racial discrimination.

Getting over my fear

It turned out, for the most part, that this fear and anxiety was a waste of my time (like a lot of parental fears!). The only good part of my uneasiness was that I felt continually reminded to make sure my daughter was experiencing a culturally diverse environment. Luckily, this has not been difficult living in the San Francisco Bay Area. I kept it in mind when I chose her schools, doctors and activities. Now it is second nature to me. Sometimes fear can drive you to do better, and for that, I am thankful.

What didn’t come through in my research on biracial adoption were the rewards of being a multiracial adoptive family. Our diversity has enriched our lives in many ways. It has also helped me teach my girls the value I hold most dear–that all people on this earth are equal and deserve the same amount of love, respect, tolerance and justice. As for my kids, they are doing great. I know most of their lives are still ahead of them, but a lot of the groundwork has been set. Both of my daughters are very proud of their mixed heritage and being part of a diverse family. (I am Catholic and my husband is Jewish, so they get to experience two religions as well).

We talk about discrimination

As a family, we talk about racial discrimination. We also talk about other types of discrimination. Some types of discrimination my husband and I have personally faced and others we haven’t. My husband experienced anti-Semitism both as a child and an adult. I have dealt with gender discrimination starting from a young age by my own dad and brothers and then again in the workforce.

Yes, we can talk from experience when it comes to that, but we feel equally prepared (or unprepared) to help them with racial discrimination as well. I don’t think we do a better job or make them feel better because we were discriminated against, too. Teaching our children about their African American heritage has been a great experience for all of us, but it is just a part of the many cultures we like to learn and talk about. We also talk about our country’s changing demographics and how this will affect their life experiences as they grow older.

Acknowledging their heritage

What is interesting to me is that my daughters feel differently about their race at different times. My older child looks more African American and is perceived as black or biracial by most people. The public has a much harder time trying to figure out my younger daughter’s heritage. Because of this, their interactions with people about adoption have been different. My guiding principle is to respect how they feel about their heritage at any given time. If my older daughter is enjoying her multi-ethnic heritage and doesn’t see herself as African American, that is okay with me. It’s what feels right to her. If, later, she becomes more interested in her African American heritage, I am happy to help her explore it more deeply. My younger daughter likes to talk about her southern roots, not so much her racial heritage. Lately, this interest is in the form of learning about southern cooking. It’s been a very tasty learning process for us all.

There is plenty to worry about when raising your child whether she was adopted or not; whether she is the same race as you or not. My advice to anyone who thinks transracial adoption challenging is this: Consider how much more your family’s life could be enriched instead of focusing on the possible difficulties your child may encounter.

What Is Open Adoption?

As you begin exploring adoption, you will discover that the term “adoption” actually encompasses many meanings. You may have heard references to the term open adoption, but you may still be wondering what this term means and what the arrangement would look like between you and the adopting parents. The following are specifics to consider with an open adoption and questions to ask before deciding if this is the right arrangement for you and the adopting parents.

An open adoption can mean many things and, as the birth mother, you can help define the terms of this arrangement.

Defining Open Adoption

An open adoption is an arrangement where the birth parents and adoptive parents have access to the other’s identifying information, can meet one another, and can arrange ongoing contact over the years. One question that often arises from birth parents and adoptive parents is how much contact they will have with the other party.

The quick answer to that question is the amount of contact varies from one adoption to the next. This is an arrangement and agreement that’s made between birth parents and adoptive parents. So, if you choose open adoption, you can arrange the frequency and type of communication with the adoptive parents and child.

Benefits of Open Adoption

Many benefits are often cited for open adoption. First, birth mothers often feel more at peace knowing that they chose adoption because they can check in on the child from time to time. The ongoing contact with the adoptive family may help you gain closure and may help you confirm that adoption really was the best choice for you and the child.

When the child is older, the open adoption arrangement will allow them to know where they came from and may leave them with fewer questions regarding the past. The open adoption can also ensure the child will have access to important birthparent cultural and medical records.

Questions to Ask

While many benefits can come from an open adoption, it isn’t the right form of adoption for everyone. In some cases, a closed adoption may be better. Before choosing an open adoption as the birth mother, consider the following questions:

Can I handle the emotions of regular contact with the child?

While regular contact with the adoptive parents can help confirm that you made the right choice with adoption, it can also open old wounds. Consider whether you can handle the emotions that will come when you receive updates on the child, or if you may be able to move forward in life more effectively without that regular contact.

What if the adoptive parents and I can’t reach an agreement on the open adoption?

Since you and the adoptive parents will define how much contact you want with an open adoption, consider what may happen if you can’t reach an agreement. While assistance is available to help you reach those terms, not being able to reach a solid agreement is a possibility you’ll need to be prepared to handle.

Will I be able to handle questions the child may have for me in the future?

Choosing an open adoption means the child will know who you are and will have the option to reach out to you in the future. The child may contact you in the future with specific questions regarding why you chose adoption and more. Consider whether you will be emotionally able to handle those inquiries.

Choosing open adoption can mean you will receive regular updates from the adoptive parents over the years.

There are many details to consider when pursuing an open adoption. While, at first, the process may feel a little overwhelming, just remember that you aren’t alone and resources are available to assist you through every step. At Family Formation, we can help arrange your open adoption. Call us today at (925) 945-1880.

Is Adoption Right For Me? 10 Questions to Ask Yourself

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Becoming an adoptive parent is a life changing decision. Much work is required before you sign the adoption papers and a lifetime of work waits for you after bringing your adoptive child home. While adopting a child can bring immense rewards and joy, it can also bring many challenges. Here are 10 questions to ask when deciding if you’re truly ready for this important life change.

Prepare yourself for success as an adoptive parent by asking these important initial questions.

Why do I want to adopt?

While this is a fairly basic question, it’s also one of the most important. If you’re unable to conceive a child and are considering adoption as an alternative, you’ll likely need to go through the grieving stages of not having a biological child before beginning the adoption process.

Am I financially ready for a baby?

Raising a child not only requires time, it also requires money. Being financially ready for a baby will help ease the stress that comes with parenthood and will help ensure you’re able to give your child the best life possible.

Am I ready to commit to parenthood?

Your world will shift dramatically after bringing your child home and you must be mentally prepared for those changes. Of course, parenthood brings many rewards, but you must be willing to also accept the challenges.

What age of child do I want?

Many adoptive parents want the full life experience of parenthood and, as such, choose to adopt infants. Others envision adopting a toddler or an older child.

In the future, will I tell my child about the adoption?

Deciding how or if you’ll share the news of adoption with your child in the future is important to consider before you begin the adoptive process. Creating this plan of action from the beginning will help ease your worries regarding the topic.

How will I share the news with friends and family?

If you decide that adoption is right for you, your must then decide how and when you’ll tell friends and family. While becoming an adoptive parent is your decision, it also impacts others in your life and you must be prepared to handle their reactions.

Is your relationship strong enough for parenthood?

Assessing the state for your relationship can be difficult, but it’s essential when deciding if you’re ready for parenthood. A healthy marriage or partnership offers the foundation for a loving and nurturing home for an adoptive child.

In the future, how would I feel if my child wanted to find his or her biological parents?

At some point, your child may approach you with the desire to find his or her biological parents. If this happens, you’ll need to have a plan of action for handling the request and will also need to deal with your emotions surrounding the topic.

How will I handle potential problems during the adoptive process?

Adoptions take time, which can be frustrating. Consider how an attorney can help ease the process and prepare for how you’ll handle any potential setbacks along your journey toward adoption.

What type of adoption am I envisioning?

If you’ll be adopting an infant, you’ll need to consider the type of adoption you want with the biological parents. Closed adoptions, open adoptions and arrangements in between are all options to consider before making your final decision.

Adopting an infant is a life changing decision. Make sure you’re ready for the rewards and challenges.

Becoming an adoptive parent will change your life in many ways. Considering those changes before adoption is necessary not only to make sure that adoption is right for you but also to ensure you create an adoption plan that works best for your family. As always, the experienced attorneys at Family Formation are available to answer your questions and guide you through the adoption process.

The Surrogacy Journey

“There is a bit of magic to the Family Formation screening process. Our surrogate is like family to us now.” Mandy E

Surrogacy is truly an amazing journey! The success of that journey, and the joy and satisfaction felt along the way, has everything to do with the people involved. It also has a lot to do with understanding and feeling comfortable with all of the steps along the way. Like most women thinking about being a surrogate, you probably have a lot of questions about what the steps are. Here are nine of the most significant steps you will take on your journey.

The Surrogate Screening Process

The first step in becoming a surrogate is to submit the initial paperwork and schedule a call with our program co-director. She will also review your paperwork, get to know you, and coordinate getting the additional paperwork we will need from you. This includes:

An application and family medical history
Prenatal/labor and delivery records
Recent pap report
Copies of your ID, insurance information, etc.
Photos you’d like to share with potential intended parents

After all your paperwork is in, we will schedule a time for you to come to our office to meet with us. Plan to bring your spouse or partner or any other support person who will be with you through this process. We will then arrange for you to consult with a psychologist who specializes in surrogacy. She or he will talk with you about the emotional aspects of being a surrogate and what to expect. The psychologist can help you come up with ideas for how to talk with family and friends about your journey. Once this step is complete, it’s time to introduce you to intended parents!

Meeting the Intended Parents

We work very hard to make the best match possible between our surrogates and intended parents. We consider what you are looking for in intended parents and what our intended parents are looking for in a surrogate. We also look at personality types, interests, and where each of you lives.

We will share with you some information about their backgrounds. We will tell you their stories and why they have chosen surrogacy to build their family. You’ll also get to see photos. Once we have found a match, we’ll arrange for you all to meet. The actual meeting will be in a casual setting, usually at a restaurant, and at a time that’s convenient for you. Rest assured, you will always have the final say in which intended parents you work with!

Medical Screening

We will send your information and medical records to the intended parents’ doctor so they can be reviewed. The clinic will call you to schedule a time for your medical screening. The date of this appointment will be based on your menstrual cycle and will involve:

A basic physical
High-level ultrasound to check the lining of your uterus
Lab work for you and your spouse or partner
Consultation with the doctor. You will learn more about how IVF works and the risks associated with IVF and pregnancy. This is also the time to discuss your questions or concerns about the medical aspect of the surrogacy journey.

After the test results all come back favorable, the doctor will let us and the intended parents know that you have been medically approved to be a surrogate! This is called “medical clearance.” Once you are medically cleared, we move can begin working on the gestational carrier contract.

The Gestational Carrier Contract

In this step four, you will enter into a contract with the intended parents. We will arrange for you to have your own attorney during this process. It will be someone who doesn’t work in our office and who represents only you! Your attorney will review this contract with you to make sure you clearly understand everything. Your attorney will answer all of your questions and concerns and will request, on your behalf, any changes to the contract if appropriate. Your attorney’s fees are paid for by the intended parents, so there is no cost to you for your legal services.

IVF Cycle to Achieve Pregnancy

In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a very specialized and detailed process that requires you to adhere to a strict calendar of hormone medications, medical appointments, blood work, and ultrasounds. Each fertility center doctor has their own protocol, and it’s critical that you follow the doctor’s instructions exactly as they are given. Many surrogates become pregnant after just one transfer!

Pregnancy Test and Ultrasound

Roughly ten days after the transfer, you will go to a lab for a pregnancy blood test. You can expect a follow up test two days later as well. If those results are positive, you will go back to the fertility center for a heartbeat ultrasound to determine if you have a viable pregnancy. This usually happens about four weeks after the embryo transfer. At that point, the fertility center doctor will release you to your own OBGYN for the rest of your pregnancy, labor and delivery.

Visits to your OBGYN

From this point on, you will be seeing your OBGYN for regular visits. Hopefully it will be an easy, uneventful pregnancy just like your others. Your intended parents will want to attend as many OBGYN visits as possible. They can then ask your doctor questions about their baby and make informed decisions about any prenatal testing your doctor recommends. This is a really good time to build your relationship with your intended parents. Allowing them to experience the pregnancy through you is what makes your surrogacy journey so rewarding!

Delivery and Welcoming the Baby!

The grand finale speaks for itself. This is what the journey has been all about. No matter how the baby decides to enter the world, taking you by surprise when your water breaks or going as planned with an induction or cesarean section, this day will be like no other! You will always remember the look on your intended parents’ faces the first time they hold their long-awaited, precious child. At this moment, you become part of an exclusive club of selfless women–willing to give so much of themselves in order to bless someone else with a family.

We hope this step by step explanation has inspired you to learn more about the surrogacy journey! If you’re ready to get started, you can apply today by clicking this link.

Not ready to take that step yet? You’re welcome to call (800-877-1880) or send us an email: info@familyformation.com.

We’d love to hear from you!