Author Archives: Megan Cohen, Adoption Attorney

About Megan Cohen, Adoption Attorney

(Attorney) is one of the only adoption attorneys in the country who is also a birth mother. Admitted to the bar in January 2010, Megan began working with Diane that same year and made partner by 2011. She took over the firm in 2013 and has since received Super Lawyers’ Northern California Rising Star award in 2013 and 2014. Megan graduated magna cum laude and first in her class from law school where she earned multiple awards for academic excellence. As a law student, she worked for three years as an advocate for victims of domestic violence. Prior to studying law, Megan was both a successful small business owner and a high school English teacher. Her passion for adoption began when she placed her son for adoption in 1988. She continues to have an open relationship with her adopted son and his parents, and has intimate knowledge of what it means to place a child, to choose the child’s parents, and to both stay connected and reunite with the adopting family.

Open Adoption Issues and Overview

final hearing open adoption image Adoption involves parents and their children, loss and grief, and complicated joy. There’s a lot at stake when things don’t work out and even more so when they do. The role of the adoption attorney is to help the parties think about the adoption in these terms. Attorneys should look to the future, respect vulnerabilities, and build trust. What follows is a brief overview of some of the emotional and legal issues involved in a private adoption.

Open Adoption Overview

In an open adoption, the birth parents and adoptive parents know each other’s identities and agree to maintain contact. Research shows that this openness benefits everyone. Adoptive parents get to learn more about their child’s genetic heritage, their cultural history, and medical history. The birth parents get to watch their child grow and thrive which helps validate their difficult choice. Ideally, hopefully, this mitigates the grief and loss they will be coping with over the years, some for the rest of their lives. Adoptees benefit from knowing critical pieces of their life story: where they came from, their biological roots, and the existence of siblings. Having just basic information can be hugely helpful in demystifying an adoptee’s life story.

Contact Agreements

Most open adoptions involve a contact agreement between the parties. In California, this agreement is enforceable when it’s in writing and filed with the court. This agreement outlines the type of contact the parties will have in the future, when it will happen, and how. It is most valuable in that it puts expectations in writing. The challenge in them is that birth parents might use agreement negotiations to maintain a sense of control over the adoption. They might have unrealistic expectations of what adoptive parents can commit to. The best adoption attorneys will work hard to mediate vulnerabilities on both sides. She will also be honest and ethical about what each side can give.

Choosing an Adoption Attorney

Adoptive parents have options when deciding whom to work with on their adoption. They should choose professionals who share their philosophy on open adoption. One option is to work with an adoption attorney. Some adoption attorneys actively seek out birth mothers on behalf of their clients. When an adoption situation is found, the attorney can then do any of the following:

coordinate the home study
terminate birth parent rights
negotiate the contact agreement
arrange for birth parent counseling
comply with the Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA)
sort out conflict of law questions if the birth mother lives out of state
disburse financial assistance to the birth mother if she needs it
prepare the adoptive parents for the finalization hearing where they are declared the legal parents.

Terminating Parental Rights

One of the biggest challenges in any adoption is terminating the rights of birth parents so the adoption can be finalized. California law has specific requirements about when and how a birth mother may sign her consent. Generally, this doesn’t happen until after she is discharged from the hospital. Once she has signed the consent, the birth mother has several days to change her mind (up to 30 days unless she waives this right). After this period has passed her consent is binding. Her parental rights aren’t legally terminated, however, until the adoption is finalized. At the same time, parental rights are established in the adoptive parents.

Birth Fathers

California law permits birth fathers to sign paperwork before or after the baby is born. There are several options for terminating birth father rights. The rights of all possible fathers must be terminated. California has two types of fathers, presumed and alleged. A presumed father is generally someone who is married to the birth mother or whose name appears on the child’s birth certificate. He might also be someone who holds himself out as the child’s father. If a presumed father refuses to sign any paperwork at any time, his rights must be terminated by court action. However, if an alleged father (essentially anyone who is not a presumed father) refuses to sign paperwork, his rights can be terminated based on notice. This notice requirement puts the responsibility on the alleged father to file a court action to establish parental rights. If he fails to do so, his rights can be terminated without further notice to him.

Respecting Birth Fathers

Many birth fathers are ready to sign paperwork if they are treated with compassion and respect. Some just need to be heard and given the opportunity to be part of the process. Many birth fathers are actively involved in an adoption plan, but not always. Some feel trapped and powerless when faced with the news of an unplanned pregnancy. They get angry; they deny paternity; they avoid service. They tell you the birth mother lied and said she had an abortion. They come out of the woodwork. In order to be ready for these situations, it is critical to get as much information about potential birth fathers as possible. This information is generally all self-reported by the birth mother. The questions you ask the birth mother about the baby’s father might not be nearly as important as when and how you ask.

Interstate Adoption

Adoption laws vary from state to state. If the birth mother lives out of state, you must comply with that state’s adoption laws and with the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC). The laws range widely from state to state on a variety of issues. Adoptive parents can’t leave that state until they’ve cleared ICPC. Understanding and completing the reams of paperwork required by each state is critical to getting adoptive parents home quickly. Long delays are usually a result of submitting incomplete documents.

Balancing Everyone’s Interests

Adoption attorneys should strive to remember, as we work hard to navigate the legalities involved in completing an adoption, that there is a child involved whose life trajectory will change forever, and that we are working with individuals who have put their futures in our hands. The best adoption attorney will work hard to act in the best interests of everyone involved because that is what makes a successful adoption.

Gestational vs Traditional Surrogacy

There are two types of surrogacy, gestational and traditional. A surrogate mother is a woman who agrees to carry someone else’s baby. She becomes pregnant using some form of assisted reproductive technology, frequently IVF. The surrogate mother carries the baby to term, gives birth, and the baby is released from the hospital to the intended parents. What follows is a description of gestational vs traditional surrogacy.

What is Gestational Surrogacy?

gestational vs traditional surrogacy image

The most common type of surrogate is a gestational carrier. A gestational surrogate becomes pregnant through IVF and gives birth to a baby that is not biologically related to her. Here’s how it works.

Embryos are created using the intended parents’ egg and sperm or that of a donor.
Embryos are created by a doctor in a lab and then are frozen for later use or transferred into the surrogate’s uterus.
The gestational surrogate becomes pregnant and is released to the care of her OBGYN for the rest of the pregnancy.
The legal process of obtaining a pre-birth order establishing the intended parents parental rights and terminating potential parental rights of the surrogate, if any.
The gestational surrogate gives birth and the baby is discharged to the intended parents.

What is Traditional Surrogacy?

In a traditional surrogacy, the surrogate’s egg is used to create the embryos. This means the traditional surrogate is a biological parent of the baby. Traditional surrogacy is far less common than gestational surrogacy. Here’s how it works:

An embryo is created using the intended father’s sperm or that of a donor.
The traditional surrogate’s eggs are used to create the embryos either through IVF or artificial insemination.
The traditional surrogate becomes pregnant and is released into the care of her OBGYN for the rest of the pregnancy.
The legality of obtaining a pre-birth order establishing parental rights is less certain in traditional surrogacy. This is because the traditional surrogate is a biological parent. A court might not be willing to terminate her parental rights, if any, prior to the baby being born.
The traditional surrogate gives birth, and if there’s a valid pre-birth order, the baby may be discharged to the intended parents.

Gestational vs Traditional Surrogacy

gestational vs traditional surrogacy image

Gestational surrogacy is less risky than traditional surrogacy because the surrogate is not a biological parent. Terminating her parental rights, if any, are routinely obtained pre-birth.
Traditional surrogacy is generally less expensive than gestational surrogacy because artificial insemination is less expensive than IVF. It also requires fewer medications for the surrogate.
Gestational surrogacy likely poses less potential psychological harm to all parties because the surrogate is not a biological parent. It is likely much easier for her to move on from a gestational surrogacy than a traditional.

If you have questions or would like more information, feel free to email us at info@familyformation.com.

Adoption vs Surrogacy

What’s the difference between adoption vs surrogacy?

There are several differences between adoption vs surrogacy. In an adoption, the potential parents are called adoptive parents. In a surrogacy, the potential parents are called intended parents. Here are some main differences between adoption vs surrogacy:

baby through adoption or surrogacy

Adoption involves bringing a child into your life who is not biologically related to you.
In a surrogacy, a woman becomes pregnant through in vitro fertilization (IVF) using the intended parents’ sperm and egg (or the sperm and/or egg of a donor).
Intended parents have a legally binding contract with the surrogate. The surrogate cannot change her mind and keep the baby after it is born.
There are no legally binding “adoption contracts” that say who the parents will be. The birth mother can change her mind and keep the baby after it is born.
Adopting parents become the legal parents of their child several months after the child is placed with them.
Intended parents become legal parents before the child is born.

Adoption versus Surrogacy: Pros and Cons

Adoption involves a lot of uncertainty. Surrogacy is much more certain, and the intended parents have much more control over the process than in an adoption. Here are some of the pros and cons:

A child born via surrogacy is biologically related to the intended parents.
The legal status of the intended parents is certain in surrogacy.
The surrogate might not be able to get pregnant. The intended parents may worry that that IVF will fail.
Adoption makes a stable home possible for a child who needs it.
A woman chooses adoption when she is already pregnant. Adoptive parents do not have to worry whether the birth mother will get pregnant. There is already a baby in utero.
The birth mother can change her mind after the baby is born.
Adoptive parents have no control over the prenatal environment. Adoptive parents may know little about their child’s medical history.

Adoption versus Surrogacy: Cost

Adoption and surrogacy both have various costs and fees. Generally speaking, an adoption is a fraction of the cost of a surrogacy. Here are typical expenses associated with each.

Surrogacy is expensive. The costs include medical expenses for IVF, out of pocket expenses incurred by the surrogate, possibly compensation to the surrogate. Surrogacy also includes medical expenses for pregnancy and delivery, and legal costs. The total for cost for surrogacy is typically at least $100,000.

Adoption is less expensive. It includes at least the cost of a home study. A home study usually costs less than $5,000. Most people need help finding a baby to adopt. The cost to find a baby to adopt also ranges widely from $5,000 to $15,000. A birth mother might also need help with expenses. Most states allow adopting parents to help birth mothers with expenses.

family through adoption versus surrogacy

The laws around adoption and surrogacy are different in every state. For instance, there are laws that determine whether you can compensate your surrogate. There are also laws that determine who can get a court order before the baby is born. The costs will vary from state to state and from doctor to doctor. It’s important to research your options before committing to either process. We are experts in adoption and surrogacy. Call today to schedule a free 15 minute consultation with an attorney.

Why Do Single Parents Adopt?

Single people can choose to become loving adoptive parents.

Should I give my child up for adoption? When you’re thinking about adoption, you may consider this choice because you’re not financially or emotionally ready to parent alone. What about those parents who choose to become single parents through adoption? Many people want to become parents, but they don’t have the right partner. They may choose single parenthood through adoption, and the adoption process helps them make sure that they are ready.

They Want Children

In many ways, single parents seek out adoption for the same reasons that couples look to adoption. Some single parents may not be able to conceive in other ways, while others choose adoption first because adoption is their preferred way of building a family. A single person without a partner may feel a longing to have children but may not be in a stable, long-term relationship. Nonetheless, single parents may choose to adopt because they don’t want to wait any longer to start to build their family.

They Feel Ready

You may be making an adoption plan because you don’t feel ready to be a parent. There are others who feel completely ready but happen to be single at this time. Single parents may be getting older and want to make sure that they’re able to become parents while they’re still young. They may be in the right job and right neighborhood and feel the desire to bring children into their lives now. Single parents who choose to adopt don’t take this decision lightly: they know that parenting can be hard, but they want to take this path.

They Can Manage the Logistics

Single parents have to think about the logistics of having children even more than couples do, and when a single parent chooses to adopt he or she has thought through these logistics and found that this is the right time. For example, a prospective adoptive mother who’s planning to be a single parent has likely thought through her job situation and her finances, made plans for child care, and considered how much leave she’ll be able to take when the child is born. She’s ready to take on the challenge of parenting solo.

Whether an adoptive parent is part of a couple or parenting solo, the adoption process helps parents make sure that they have the support system to become a parent.

They Have a Strong Support System

Single parents don’t necessarily parent alone. Many have a wonderful support system of grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends, and other community members who are able to help with child care or just be a supportive and listening ear. Choosing to become a single parent is a big choice and it’s one that adoptive parents do not take lightly. They’re asked about and need to consider how they’ll develop a system to support not only their child but themselves.

More Information

I am available to talk with you and answer your questions whether you have decided on open adoption or not. I am an attorney and a birth mother and have been in your shoes. Feel free to contact me anytime.

Click here to send a confidential text
Click here to send a confidential email
Call the office at (800) 877-1880

Images Courtesy of Family Formation: Client photos printed with permission.

What is a Home Study?

A home study helps adoptive families think about what kind of adoption they want to pursue.

When you’re considering adoption, you know that there are a number of steps that you need to go through to complete that adoption. You need to find adoptive parents who are a match for your values, think about your child’s needs and the birth, and make an adoption plan to see you into the future. While you’re considering all of this, your child’s prospective adoptive parents are busy too. One step that they need to go through is the home study. What is a home study and why does it matter to you?

What is a Home Study?

When an individual or a couple wishes to become adoptive parents, they need to participate in a home study. They might be working through an adoption agency or an adoption law firm, but they all need to go through the home study process. The process involves education and gathering information about the prospective parents, including background checks and fingerprinting. It often involves orientation meetings, adoption coursework, and meetings in the parents’ home. On average, the process takes between two to three months to complete.

Home studies can help you ensure that there’s a match by clarifying information about the adoptive family.

Why Home Studies Exist

A home study has several purposes. It’s an opportunity for an agency or other organization to provide information and look at each family’s interests and needs. Some families may want to pursue international adoption, some might be interested in adopting foster children, and others might want to adopt an infant. An adoption home study can help clarify what type of adoption and what sorts of needs a family is willing to consider. This is important as it helps ensure that each family makes the choices that is right for them.

The study also helps the agency or law firm understand the parents well so that they can all ensure that they make the best possible match between the birth family and the adoptive family. During the home study, adoptive parents will be asked questions about their reasons for adopting, their expectations, their family and personal histories, their parenting, their income and education, and their physical and home environments. All of these factors help make a good match between the birth family and the adoptive family. For example, a home study can pinpoint a family who’s keen to parent a child with extra needs and has the physical location, income, and family to support this.

Who Needs a Home Study?

In general, prospective adoptive parents need to have a home study. However, if you are considering adoption with a relative, your relative may not need to complete a home study that is as intensive or as long as those required for non-relative adoptions. However, this varies from state to state. Your relative can check with an adoption attorney or agency to determine whether or not their family needs to participate in a full home study process.

More Information

Click here to send a confidential text
Click here to send a confidential email
Call the office at (800) 877-1880

Images Courtesy of Family Formation: Client photos printed with permission.

Why Do Adoptive Parents Decide to Adopt A Child?

Families may adopt a child for many reasons, but they all adopt because they want to love a new member of their family.

Why would a family choose to adopt a child? When you’re thinking about how to put a child up for adoption, you might wonder what motivates adoptive parents. Who are the people behind the faces, and why are they considering adoption? Here are some of the reasons why adoptive families choose to adopt a child.

They Love Children But Can’t Have Children

Many adoptive parents love children and always envisioned themselves as parents. They may not be able to have children of their own, due to infertility or disability. In any case, they want to have the family that they’ve dreamed of and they have set up their lives to do this.

Some parents choose to adopt because they have medical conditions that make it hard to have children, but they would love to have a child.

Medical Conditions Make it Hard to Have Children

Some parents may be able to have children, but they know that they have a genetic disorder that runs in their family. For this reason, they may choose to adopt rather than have a child. Other parents may have medical conditions of their own that makes it challenging to carry a child, and this might pose health difficulties for the mother. For this reason, they decide to adopt child instead.

They See Adoption as an Ethical Choice

For some people, adoption is their favorite option for ethical or environmental reasons. They know that children need homes, and they prefer to adopt to add to their family. They may have biological children already or they may choose to adopt a child instead of having biological children.

To Adopt A Child Opens the Door to Parenthood

Sometimes, single parents want to make their long-held desire for a family come true. They have the means to do this, and they choose to adopt since they don’t have a partner. Other families are same-sex families who choose adoption as an alternative to surrogacy. For these families, adoption opens up the possibility of parenthood.

They Want to Give a Child Opportunities

Some families have a particular interest in adopting a child who has special needs. They might have a background in education or have a family member or child who has special needs. They may be a member of the deaf or blind community and want to ensure that a child with these differences has the opportunity to be part of a family. These adoptive parents want to give that child the opportunity to have the support that the child needs to grow up happy and healthy.

Talking With Adoptive Parents

As you look for adoptive parents, you want to ask them many things. You want to talk about how they will parent, where your child will live, and what kind of life your child could have. It might seem awkward to ask adoptive parents why they are pursuing adoption. Sometimes the adoptive parents will let you know in the information that they provide to birth parents. You can also ask adoptive parents questions about adoption. For example, you could ask them what drew them to adoption or what experience they have with adoption in their family. This can help you understand more about your child’s prospective adoptive parents.

More Information

Click here to send a confidential text
Click here to send a confidential email
Call the office at (800) 877-1880

Images Courtesy of Family Formation: Client photos printed with permission.

Cultural Connections In Multiracial Adoption

In a multiracial adoption, how can you choose a family who will help your child learn about her cultural heritage?

If you’re thinking about choosing adoptive parents who are not of the same race and culture as you are, how can you make sure that your child’s adoptive parents will help maintain cultural connections in a multiracial adoption? When you’re thinking about giving a child up for adoption, you consider your child’s future deeply. Who will raise your child, and what will they be like? Will they hold your parenting values and be able to support your child as he or she grows into adulthood? If you’re considering many different adoptive parents, some may be of the same race and culture as you, and some may not.

Think About What’s Important

When you think about your child’s future, what’s most important to you? Of course, you want kind and supportive parents who can give your child opportunities. Think about your child’s cultural connections as well. Is it most important to you that your child live in a community where there are cultural events that he or she can enjoy and where your child can have role models who are from your family background? Is it important that your child grow up in a family that has similar religious or parenting values to your own? Consider what aspects of your culture you would pass onto your child, and be prepared to look for adoptive parents who will provide this environment for your child.

Talk to prospective adoptive parents about your questions as you create your adoption plan.

Bring Up Your Questions In A Multiracial Adoption

It can seem awkward to bring up questions about race and culture in a multiracial adoption. If you’re worried or simply want to make sure that this is part of your child’s life, talk about this when you meet prospective adoptive parents. Make your values clear so that they know that this is something that is very important to you.

Talk About Parenting Values

When you’re looking for adoptive parents for your child, you can look for people who can provide your child with specific experiences. However, one of the most important things to look for is open-mindedness and the ability to support your child in his or her explorations. An adoptive parent of a child who has a different racial background from his or her own will need an open mind, a willingness to build community, an ability to have dialogue with your child and others, and an inclination to support your child through new and different experiences.

Open Adoption Keeps the Connection

Years ago, children who were adopted often had no contact with their birth parents, and they may not have had strong cultural connections with their parents’ culture. If you’re seeking an open adoption, you have the opportunity to expose your child to your culture and your family. You’ll have the ability to answer questions and help your child and your child’s adoptive family find answers. Seeking an open adoption helps maintain family and cultural connections.

We’re open to your questions, and we’ve been there too. We’re birth parents and adoptive parents ourselves. Contact us today to see how we can help you explore the possibilities of adoption.

More Information

Click here to send a confidential text
Click here to send a confidential email
Call the office at (800) 877-1880

Images Courtesy of Family Formation: Client photos printed with permission.

Do I Need an Adoption Agency?

When you choose adoption, how do you know if you need an adoption agency?

Do I need an adoption agency for a successful adoption? When you’re looking for adoption support, where do you turn? You have options when you’re a birth parent who’s considering domestic adoption. You don’t have to work with adoption agency if you’re thinking about adoption for your baby.

Working With An Adoption Law Firm

At least half of adoptions do not occur through an agency. Many of these occur through independent adoption. During an independent adoption, you might find adoptive parents through your networks of friends and family, or you could look for adoptive parents who have a website and meet them if they seem like they’d be a good fit.

You can work with an adoption agency, but a law firm can also be a great choice.

Independent adoptions are legal in most states, and in some states the adoption attorney can also help you find adoptive parents for your child. In any independent adoption, the attorney will be there to move you through the legal process of adoption. This includes contacting the birth father and getting his approval for the adoption, following any rules related to your specific adoption situation, and work through home studies and the termination of parental rights.

If you already have an adoptive family in mind or prefer to find adoptive parents yourself, an independent adoption is your most logical choice. If you don’t have an adoptive family in mind, check to see if adoption attorneys can assist with the search in your state.

When you’re considering adoption, think about the process and about your needs before you choose who to support you through this process. If you already have a friend or family member who’d like to adopt your child, you may not need an adoption agency and all of the services it provides. You may also prefer the freedom of an independent adoption, while knowing that you also have legal assistance when you need it.

Read how we’re different from the Independent Adoption Center

Do You Need an Adoption Agency?

When you’re looking at adoption as an option for your child, you might consider whether you need an adoption agency. An adoption agency can offer you a number of different kinds of support. The adoption agency will provide you with help such as access to counseling, and depending on what state you are in, the adoptive parents may be able to provide you with additional financial support during your pregnancy. The agency can also help you with your adoption plan, and they have a listing of parents who would love to adopt a child. Some agencies may choose birth parents who meet specific criteria. For adoptive parents, going to an adoption agency can involve more fees than other options.

If you’re thinking about adoption, contact Family Formation:

Click here to send me a confidential text
Click here to send a confidential email
Call my office at (800) 877-1880

Images Courtesy of Family Formation: Client photos printed with permission.

Surrogacy: Questions and Considerations

When you choose surrogacy, you help complete an intended parents’ family.

You’d like to add to your family, and you’re uncertain whether the surrogacy process is for you. You’re considering becoming a surrogate, but you’re not quite sure what it involves. The surrogacy process raises questions for both the adoptive parents and the surrogate parent. As you consider whether surrogacy is a fit for you and your family, here are some questions that you can consider.

Who Can Be a Surrogate Mother?

Women who become surrogates have generally had at least one healthy pregnancy in the past, and they are usually between the ages of 21 and 35. A surrogate must be in good health and must have a source of income to support herself while she is pregnant.

Surrogacy helps families who may not otherwise be able to have a genetically-related child.

How Do Surrogate and Prospective Parents Find Each Other?

Surrogate and prospective parents can find each other in many different ways. Some surrogate parents are the friend or family member of the intended parent and decide to become a surrogate to help that family achieve its dreams. Other women are interested in helping a family they do not know, and they may spread the word in their community or connect with an agency or law firm that specializes in surrogacy. Prospective surrogate mothers may create a profile so that families can learn more about them.

What Medical Procedures Are Involved?

The medical procedures involved in surrogacy depend in part of the type of surrogacy you choose. Currently, gestational surrogacy is most common. This occurs when a surrogate mother tracks her cycle and receives medication connected to her cycle, then an embryo is transferred. Once the transfer is a success and the mother is pregnant, she will be monitored by a doctor until the delivery.

What Are the Costs of Surrogacy?

The costs of surrogacy vary a lot from situation to situation and can include agency and attorney fees, screening, surrogate fees, medical costs, insurance, and other pregnancy-related expenses. There are many variables during the surrogacy process and costs will depend on the type of surrogacy you choose, the way medical care progresses, and the agency or law firm that you choose.

What Does the Legal Process Look Like?

Surrogate mothers generally work with an agency or law firm that will support them and the prospective family during the pregnancy. This support includes everything from the initial screening to the legal aspects of surrogacy. The program you choose will either have an attorney or refer you to one to complete a surrogacy contract. This contract will set out guidelines for the surrogacy and payment. It is a good idea for both parties to have an attorney so that both can ensure that they understand the terms of the contract. After the child is born, the child will need to be adopted into his or her new family. To complete this process, you must work with an agency or law firm.

Surrogacy is a life-changing decision. It can allow same-sex couples or couples for whom pregnancy is medically challenging to have a genetically-related child. Are you thinking of becoming a surrogate? Family Formation can help answer your questions. We’re a law firm that focuses on surrogacy and adoption. Call us at 925-945-1880 for a free consultation today.

Images Courtesy of Family Formation: Client photos printed with permission.

Post Contact Agreements in California Adoptions

Adoption is the beginning of a relationship. In many cases that relationship extends far beyond a connection with a child. Adoption brings together two families: the adoptive family and the birth family. What happens to this relationship after the adoption is finalized? Different adoptive families and birth parents have different agreements about what the birth family’s contact with the child will look like.

What is a Post Adoption Contact Agreement?
A Post Adoption Contact Agreement is an agreement that the adoptive and birth families enter into when the birth family signs the papers that give their consent to the adoption. This agreement gives an outline of the ongoing contact that the birth parents and the adoptive family agree to, and it is different in each situation. There is no minimum or maximum amount of contact required. In some cases, the birth family may request photos or updates about the child, and in other cases the birth family may ask for visitation. Post contact agreements are ethical agreements, and in California adoptions these agreements are enforceable in the courts.

Why Create a Post Contact Agreement?
A Post Contact Agreement is a way to shape the future relationship between the birth family, the adoptive family, and the adoptee. It sets out strong groundwork that helps everyone in the relationship know what to expect. For birth parents, having a contact agreement in place is a way of knowing how the child is doing, and it can be reassuring to see that child growing up in a happy and stable home.

Navigating the Post Contact Agreement
A Post Contact Agreement needs to work well for all of those involved, and it’s important to talk about what this relationship will look like before the birth mother delivers the child. That way, you can make sure that everyone has similar expectations for contact.

Like any relationship, there will be some negotiation. What level of contact feels good to the birth family, and what contact feels good to the adoptive family and the adopted child? As you outline what this relationship will look like, it’s important to get help when you need it. This agreement should feel comfortable to everyone, and it’s important to outline your expectations from the beginning. If one party is uncomfortable with the other’s expectations, this might not be a good match.

When you’re navigating the world of post contact agreements, be honest about your expectations. It’s in the child’s best interest to have a contact agreement with clear expectations, so that everyone involved knows what contact looks like and knows what to expect. Outlining a post contact agreement may seem like a long process of finding a middle ground, but as the adoptee grows up, he or she will appreciate the effort that everyone involved put into this relationship.

If you’re considering adoption, we can help you navigate the process by providing legal advice. We work with a small number of families at a time, helping them work through the legal side of adoption. If you’re thinking about adoption, call us for a free consultation at 925-945-1880.